Spam Poetry Volume XII: Puppy Scammers, Smith Williams, and The American Citizens
Published: December 3, 2008
Author: David Rodnitzky
I’m glad the FBI is looking out for me, but I think they need to work on their grammar a bit!
From: F B I
Subject: URGENT ATTENTION NEEDED (805)
Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc [Editor’s Note: I guess the FBI doesn’t need street addresses or even room numbers?]
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, , Dr. Philip Mogan, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Barr. Derrick Smith, kelvin Young of , Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Dr. Philip Mogan [Again?], Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
Therefore, we have contacted the cordinating your payment intotal USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured [I guess I don’t have a choice] for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $250.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.
NAME: MR. SMITH WILLIAMS
EMAIL: firstname.lastname@example.org [Thank God the FBI has Chinese email addresses!]
Do contact Mr. Smith williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:
TELL: [I get nervous when I have a full house]
So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s which you’ll use in making payment of $250.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay [For security reasons, we must use periods sparingly].We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon [I will send you my novel when it is published].
ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535 Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. Smith Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.