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This week I spent a few hours wondering the cavernous exhibit hall at Ad-Tech San Francisco. After careful consideration, I present you with the 1st annual Blogation Ad-Tech Awards (sponsored by [insert name of AdSense advertiser to the right of this posting here]).

Best Ad-Tech Sponsorship:

The nominees are:

  • The floor in the entrance area (NetBlue)
  • The stairs (DoubleClick)
  • The lounge (WebMasterRadio?)
  • The computer terminals (don’t know)
  • The badges (Datran)
  • The bags (Casale?)
  • The coffee breaks (don’t know)
  • The air conditioning system (OK, I made that one up).

And the winner is (drum roll) . . . NetBlue. Hey, if you want people walking all over your brand, you deserve an award.

Best Promotional Schwag:

  • A money clip with two dollars included (I wish I had walked by that booth a few dozen more times . . .) – Commission Soup
  • Google gum – Google
  • Red fortune cookies handed out by three Israeli women dresses as “8s” with a drunk jester who seemed to be hitting on me –
  • “Opt-in” condoms from Arcade Rockstar
  • Free massages (do you really want to listen to a product pitch while getting a massage?) – Don’t know, but I think there were several nominees.

And the winner is . . . Next time, though, I would prefer it if the 8s hit on me rather than the jester.

Most Indistinguishable Category of Exhibitors:

  • Online lead generation companies
  • SEM agencies
  • SEM technology companies
  • Search engines

And the winner is . . . online lead generation companies! Did you know that there are at least ten companies that are “the leaders in CPA marketing” with “the highest payouts”?

Best Ad-Tech Indication That We are Indeed in an Internet Bubble Again:

  • Journalists everywhere, mostly clueless;
  • VCs and I-bankers everywhere, looking for the next Google;
  • A gigantic exhibition hall with 7,000 attendees;
  • Lavish parties with no clear signage indicating the sponsoring company.

And the winner is . . . VCs and I-bankers. I actually saw VCs (from big firms, no less) coming up to the Adteractive booth inquiring whether we needed funding.

Best Trade Show Booth Wear:

  • The Miva girls (all blondes except for Kirsten, all wearing a cross between a Catholic school girl outfit and an Annie Lennox outfit);
  • The Sprokets guy from TaguchiNow;
  • The suave ‘Boys of Adteractive’ (well, the new shirts get a nod for ‘most-improved’ at any rate);

And the winner is . . . The Sprokets guy! Slicked back hair and a full red suit. Now we must Taguchi!

Best Name for a Company I Have Never Heard of:

  • Booyah Broadcasting Group
  • GreenPlum
  • Mochilla
  • Zanox

And the winner is . . . Zanox! Because it sounds like a drug you take for heartburn.

So there it is. Congrats to NetBlue,, TaguchiNow, Zanox, VCs and lead generation companies. You can pick up your awards from the 888 jester . . . if you dare.