There are just too many funny ways to end this paragraph from today’s MarketWatch story about Yahoo’s latest hair-brain scheme:

In a sign of Yahoo’s growing confidence in the ongoing proxy war, CEO Jerry Yang told his employees that the company was launching an online advertising campaign in a bid to win over shareholders, as he noted more media stories “that reflect an understanding of our position.”

Here are a few endings that immediately come to mind (and I promise you, I spent no more than five minutes brainstorming on this one):

  • Due to the complexity of the Yahoo Search Marketing interface, the company will focus their campaign on Google AdWords. “That’s where everyone searches now anyways,” said Yang.
  • “Some might say that we should we spending our time and money on more important issues than saving our own jobs, such as our plummeting stock price, employee exodus, loss of marketshare, and lack of strategic direction, but creating banners ads with salsa dancers and the tagline ‘Yahoo stock price at historic lows!’ is just too much fun,” noted Yang gleefully.
  • The online campaign promises Yahoo stockholders a “free iPod, just for identifying a picture that is clearly Hillary Clinton as a teenager”, but eventually requires the stockholder to vote for the Yahoo board to claim their free gift.
  • The ads will feature CEO Yang with arms spread at the helm of a large ocean liner exclaiming “I’m King of the world!” The company refused to acknowledge any similarities between Yahoo and the Titanic.
  • Some industry insiders who have seen the ads have complained of subliminal messages buried in the graphics. In particular, the message “Please Microsoft, buy us for $33 a share. OK, how about $27 a share?”

1 Comment

  1. Nisho July 21st, 2008

    LOL…Good one, David!

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David Rodnitzky
David Rodnitzky is founder and CEO of 3Q Digital (formerly PPC Associates), a position he has held since the Company's inception in 2008. Prior to 3Q Digital, he held senior marketing roles at several Internet companies, including (2000-2001), FindLaw (2001-2004), Adteractive (2004-2006), and Mercantila (2007-2008). David currently serves on advisory boards for several companies, including Marin Software, MediaBoost, Mediacause, and a stealth travel start-up. David is a regular speaker at major digital marketing conferences and has contributed to numerous influential publications, including Venture Capital Journal, CNN Radio, Newsweek, Advertising Age, and NPR's Marketplace. David has a B.A. with honors from the University of Chicago and a J.D. with honors from the University of Iowa. In his spare time, David enjoys salmon fishing, hiking, spending time with his family, and watching the Iowa Hawkeyes, not necessarily in that order.